


Hide and Seek

by foxtrot77



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Caboose just wants his cookies, Gen, Team Up, red team shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 14:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10641348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxtrot77/pseuds/foxtrot77
Summary: Sarge is on a mission to find Grif and Simmons. Caboose tags along.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the RvB Bingo Wars! For Red Team's "Team Up" square.

Sarge didn’t _ask_ the Blue to accompany him. Caboose just has a way of showing up out of nowhere and making himself comfortable. Meaning, he won’t leave.

And the guy can’t take a hint. Didn’t even blink when Sarge waved his shotgun in his face, threatening to blow him to every corner of Valhalla. Caboose is either really stupid, or really brave, and Sarge is at a loss. He’s used to people running when he fires in their direction.

Deciding he has better things to do than chase Caboose, who would probably just think it was a game of tag, Sarge resumes the task at hand: Finding Grif and Simmons.

Ever since they stopped Project Freelancer and erased those dirty Blues from existence, Grif and Simmons have been half-assing their duties. Disappearing for hours on end while Sarge toils over new and improved strategies for defeating the Blues.

Grif he expects it from, but Simmons? Sarge grunts in disapproval as he starts off towards the beach.

“Oh! Are we going swimming?” Caboose asks, a few paces behind.

“No, dummy,” Sarge says over his shoulder. “We’re gonna catch Grif and Simmons sleeping on the job, those no good, lazy—”

“Oh, good,” Caboose interrupts. “Because I don’t think we’re supposed to swim in our armor. And the last time I was on the beach, I got sand in my shoes.”

“No swimming, and no playing in the sand,” Sarge says. “And if—”

“Yeah I got sand everywhere. In my underwear, my pockets. Even in my mouth. Sand does not taste good.”

Sarge doesn’t bother asking how Caboose got sand in his mouth while wearing a helmet with a high-efficiency filtering system, because Caboose probably doesn’t know himself.

They arrive at the beach, but Grif and Simmons are nowhere in sight.

“Dagnabbit,” Sarge mutters. He turns to leave, running head on into Caboose.

“Did we win?” Caboose asks.

“Win what?” Sarge replies, skirting Caboose and making his way back to base.

“Hide and seek.”

“We’re not playing a game, Caboose,” Sarge says. “We’re looking for my no-good, insubordinate lackeys. They give Red Team a bad name!”

“Yeah, um, you know, that sounds a lot like hide and seek,” Caboose says.

“All right, Caboose,” Sarge growls. “We’re playing hide and seek, and whoever finds Grif and Simmons gets to go home with a million dollars. And a lifetime supply of cookies.”

“You had me at ‘All right’,” Caboose declares. “Also, I hope you are not lying about the cookies, because that would be very mean. Gruff and Simons are in their clubhouse.”

“Now, since they weren’t on the beach, we have to assume that—wait, what did you say?”

“I said, ‘I hope you are not lying about the cookies, because’—”

“No no no, after that!” Sarge says.

“Oh, Gruff and Simons are in their clubhouse,” Caboose repeats.

Sarge pauses, waits for Caboose to go on. When he doesn’t Sarge continues his interrogation.

“And where is—”

“They told me no Blue People allowed, which wasn’t very nice, I don’t think, because friends are supposed to share,” Caboose says.

Sarge waits patiently. Caboose tilts his helmet down and looks at him, expectant.

“Where’s this clubhouse, son?” he asks.

“In the cave,” Caboose answers.

“Cave? What cave?” Sarge’s never seen a cave, how dare his men keep such a valuable asset a secret!

“The one on the beach.”

Sarge halts. They’re over halfway to Red Base. Lopez is busy fixing up the vehicles, and Sarge wonders if the robot’s finished so he doesn’t have to walk all the way back to the beach. Not to mention he could leave Caboose behind in a glorious cloud of dust.

He rejects the idea with an exasperated sigh. No, he needs Caboose—he’s the only one who knows where Grif and Simmons’s secret lair is.

“C’mon, Caboose!” He turns on his heel and starts charging the beach. “Time to go catch us some slackers!”

Within seconds, Caboose barges past and sprints to the beach. It takes Sarge a full minute to catch up. Too bad the guy’s a dirty Blue… maybe Sarge can make a trade. Give ‘em Grif. He could finally stop holding back when he fired his shotgun at him.

“Okay, Caboose, take me to the clubhouse,” he commands.

“Yeah, see, I would but like I said, Gruff and Simons told me no Blue People allowed,” Caboose says. “And I’m blue. And a person. I’m a Blue Person.”

“Don’t you worry, Caboose,” Sarge says. He cocks his shotgun. “You just point out the cave, and I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Can I still have the cookies?” Caboose asks, folding his arms. Sarge realizes Caboose doesn’t have any weapons on him. He came to the enemy base. Unarmed. Sarge is suddenly grateful Caboose is on Blue Team.

“Certainly,” he answers. He’ll just give him Grif’s Oreos.

Caboose points to a cluster of rocks at the far left of the beach. Squinting, Sarge can make out a small opening that appears to lead into the cliff wall. Well whattya know.

“Good work Caboose,” Sarge says. Then, realizing who he’s talking to, he adds, “I mean, for no good dirty Blue, that is.”

“No problem,” Caboose says. “I don’t want to be in their dumb club anyways. They never do anything fun. Like build robots. Or watch movies.”

“No doubt they’re in there, sleeping. And avoiding work!” Sarge begins to march towards the cave, shotgun held aloft.

“Yeah, they definitely take naps,” Caboose agrees. “I think they get tired from all that wrestling.”

Sarge stops in his tracks. Lowers his shotgun. Turns around.

“Sonofanogood…” he trails off, cursing under his breath as, for the second time in less than an hour, he heads for Red Base. Far, far away from Grif and Simmons’s ‘clubhouse’.

“Sergeant Sarge?” Caboose ambles alongside him. “Why aren’t you going to the clubhouse? Are you too old? Are you—” Caboose gasps, lowers his voice to a stage-whisper, “Are you secretly a _Blue Person_?!”

“I would never stoop to such treachery!” Sarge declares. “I just remembered Lopez needs my help with fixing the Jeep, that’s all.”

“No, gracias, solo lo empeorará,” Lopez drones, waving a wrench in Sarge’s general direction.

“You’re right, Lopez, I owe Caboose some cookies,” Sarge says. “C’mon Caboose, wait outside while I find where Grif’s been hoarding his food.”

Caboose ignores his order and follows him right into Red Base, but this time, Sarge barely notices as the Blue makes himself at home.


End file.
